Emotional Anchors

I am writing you tonight from Fallon, NV.  Home of the most amazing events.  I seriously do not know where to begin, except at the beginning-of course, that is much too linear.

I had the most interesting insight yesterday.  It occurred to me that it took me more than twenty years to figure out that I had the most extraordinary life.  As I walked through it, it seemed like just another day of challenges with more success than failure, and a willingness to look at my mistakes from the inside, just to avoid repeating them/   This kept me very busy and I did not think this extraordinay either...what if, what if my life at this exact moment is also extraordinary?  I don't know anyone else that has experienced anything like my personal experiences-breathtaking or devastating, my story seems unbelievable to some-sometimes. even to me.

I know a couple of people specifically that believe me to be a whale-of-a-tale teller, to be polite.  It's okay, I've learned that whether or not someone believes me doesn't change the truth of it, it just means that my life is just that unbelievable.  If they can't believe it even possible, how would they respond if they actually lived it, like I do? 

This trip began with an unusually high level of anxiety, which isn't really surprising given last year's traumas.  Now that I've met sweet Vivian and visited with these dear ones, I want to go home and for the first time-that craving is Colorado. So, I guess I have adjusted to my new home.  It feels good to know that...for sometime now, I have felt adrift.

Never before in my life have I lived somewhere without others, loved ones to anchor me to a place and time.  My first semester of college is a close second, though I was fortunate to make a friend my first night in the dorm.  Constructing my life from whole cloth was and is, quite the challenge.  At this moment, I understand that my emotional anchors have a much longer and stronger chain than I realized.  That may not provide any solutions in and of itself, but it is good to know that I am not as untethered as I felt, and it is even better to know that as I get more familiar with adaptations to building a life that I can be proud of, the home team is rooting for me.