Emotional Anchors

I am writing you tonight from Fallon, NV.  Home of the most amazing events.  I seriously do not know where to begin, except at the beginning-of course, that is much too linear.

I had the most interesting insight yesterday.  It occurred to me that it took me more than twenty years to figure out that I had the most extraordinary life.  As I walked through it, it seemed like just another day of challenges with more success than failure, and a willingness to look at my mistakes from the inside, just to avoid repeating them/   This kept me very busy and I did not think this extraordinay either...what if, what if my life at this exact moment is also extraordinary?  I don't know anyone else that has experienced anything like my personal experiences-breathtaking or devastating, my story seems unbelievable to some-sometimes. even to me.

I know a couple of people specifically that believe me to be a whale-of-a-tale teller, to be polite.  It's okay, I've learned that whether or not someone believes me doesn't change the truth of it, it just means that my life is just that unbelievable.  If they can't believe it even possible, how would they respond if they actually lived it, like I do? 

This trip began with an unusually high level of anxiety, which isn't really surprising given last year's traumas.  Now that I've met sweet Vivian and visited with these dear ones, I want to go home and for the first time-that craving is Colorado. So, I guess I have adjusted to my new home.  It feels good to know that...for sometime now, I have felt adrift.

Never before in my life have I lived somewhere without others, loved ones to anchor me to a place and time.  My first semester of college is a close second, though I was fortunate to make a friend my first night in the dorm.  Constructing my life from whole cloth was and is, quite the challenge.  At this moment, I understand that my emotional anchors have a much longer and stronger chain than I realized.  That may not provide any solutions in and of itself, but it is good to know that I am not as untethered as I felt, and it is even better to know that as I get more familiar with adaptations to building a life that I can be proud of, the home team is rooting for me.

Sometimes I Wonder...

Sometimes I wonder about strange things...
then I wonder if other people wonder about them too,
but just don't talk about it...

then I think, maybe those conversations would be more interesting...
than what's on the news...
than politics...
than what stupid stars are doing...

Sometimes I wonder about strange things...
like how many friends you've made this year...
like what the most beautiful thing you've ever seen is...
like what food makes you drool just by thinking about it...
like which moment in life do you recall most often...

I would like to have these conversations

Infrequent Flyer

Okay you die hards, I'm posting just for you...Once again life has gotten away from me, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

If anyone would have told me that I'd have ten tax documents to prepare this year I wouldn't have believed them, but alas, I am not even exaggerating.  I've spent the last three days just reading instructions and trying to determine where to begin.  Tonight, I have that answer and so I can go to sleep at least feeling like I accomplished something.  Not that I've completed even the shortest of these forms, just that I have an idea of what it is that I need to do, and how the forms flow one into the other.  A paperless society indeed.

You can expect that I will not be posting until I have completed my taxes, April 15th for you non-Americans.  It may be that I have come to the end of this blog, unless someone tells me that they give a crap that I continue writing it.

I have other writing projects roaming around my mind and it may be that since I am no longer posting regularly, and my family and friends now can contact me at a residential address that it is time to let this go.  Who knows, I may need to blow off some steam mid-filing just to deal with words instead of numbers, but I doubt it. 

My email address is goodhobbits@comcast.net if you feel the need to contact me, just to be sure that I haven't left the planet, never fear, I keep my towel handy. {If you don't recognise that referent, read The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy and get back to me.}  You grok?  [If you don't get that referent, read Stranger in a Strange Land]  that ought to keep you busy until I get back.