The Way I Go

This week has been a week of reflection, in large part because I got to stop and catch my breath.  On Monday, I got my first sympathetic spinal block in over a year, a treatment that reduces my pain by half  (Sounds scary doesn't it!).  It was such a relief to be comparably comfortable that I could actually think...uninterrupted, if you will.  I don't usually write about pain, it isn't interesting to me, and I suspect it isn't to you either, but lately it has occurred to me that leaving it out completely is lying, in a certain sense. 

In the beginning, I invented a code to portray my condition with a sense of humor...my personal preference for all unpleasant truths, but I never did put it up and now it is moot, since the images collected for this purpose are lost.  In the meantime, unless someone knows me very well there is no way for them to detect how I am actually doing, and some think I am making the whole thing up.  Well, why wouldn't they?  In a certain way, I prefer to be mysterious than pitied, more than that, I prefer to be understood.  That is only possible if I tell the whole story...something that I resist until it is part of my past. So, I intend to include something about it in future posts...perhaps I will find a humorous way to present this yet.

I have also not posted anything about another life changing event... a fire, so here goes....

I was on my way to Colorado Springs with my last load from Los Angeles.  The Volkswagen van I had borrowed from Brian and Stacey in Santa Fe was bigger than my own and was loaded as full as you can imagine while leaving one open bench seat for the cat and the dog.  As usual, I had stopped in Tuscon to visit and rest for a few days and had just headed out for a night drive since I had no ac. 

About an hour into the drive, the low battery light came on.  I know a bit about cars and such so I'm thinking, "Low battery?  That means the alternator isn't recharging.  I don't need a rest stop, I need a repair stop..."  Fluffy, who generally hides begins talking to me so I tip the rear view mirror to see if she's stuck or what and see a flame shooting out the rear.  Now, I'm thinking, "What does a low battery light have to do with flames?" as I pull onto the shoulder.  "Flames?  I have to get out of here!"  I grabbed my cell phone to call 911, dialing as I walked around the van.  I opened the sliding door, told Fluffy to get in her carrier, clipped Coco to his leash and stepped away with one in each hand and the phone crooked to my ear.

Just then, I realized...my purse...oh no!  With an animal in each hand there was no hand free to go back.  It was probably a good thing I didn't have a free hand because it took all of my self control to not go back.  By the time the fire department got there, the van was fully involved in flames and the entire load was a loss.  The police eventually came, and gave me a ride to the nearest truck stop where my friend from Tuscon, picked me up...the rest is, as they say, history.

On a completely different topic, I now have readers in 26 countries...who knew?  You are in good company my friend

Walking in L.A.

As promised, I am back in Los Angeles at the home of Jim and Lorraine Stewart.  When I left last month, I wasn't expecting to be back so soon, but a fire changed all that and so here I am.  As it turns out, since I now have medical coverage (BIG YEAH) I was able to get my first treatment in over a year. For the first time in way too long, I am able to walk in L.A,  Yeah, my feet still hurt, but not as badly and not in the same way, so it's a happy day for me.

Tomorrow I go get my identity back at the Department of Motor Vehicles, as well as my registration, title and handicapped parking permit, so you know that's just going to be a whole bunch of fun.  My plans for the next couple of weeks are evolving.  I am taking it one task at a time, so I'll have to let you know how it all works out in my next post.

The Winds Of Change

The wind has been blowing here in Santa Fe since before I arrived, sometimes at night, it blows through the trees and sounds just like the ocean.  It is an interesting experience to feel that lull while half asleep and realize that I am over a thousand miles from the ocean.

As I look forward to the next week, it is with some reluctance that I anticipate heading back to Los Angeles.  I need to get my licence, which can only be done in person., among other things.  The notion of driving from Santa Fe to Los Angeles without air conditioning is not attractive to me.  It sounds like there's some night driving in my future.  Oh well...at least I can go see the ocean.

House Sitting

I am currently house sitting in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  It's a beautiful house and it's really a pleasure to be here.  At other times, I have felt that it was a little too isolated, but this time I am really enjoying the privacy.  My life has been so traumatic lately, it's nice to have the time and space to process it.

Between one thing and the other, I barely had time to react let alone process.  Now, I find things coming out, falling into place and moving on to the next aspect.

I have received three care packages this week.  Each one contained items unique and wondrous.  I have the items spread over the dining room table and I just linger in looking at them and feeling the love sent with them.  It is a good time to have time and space.

Next week Jack and Sue return.  I am welcome to stay, but I suspect that I will head out to take care of replacing some of the items lost in the fire.  Time will tell..

Through The Trees

Looking through the trees, I see more trees
Different trees for sure
Evergreens, cottonwoods, oak and others

Among the trees
a glimpse of fencing
stumps, and boulders

The wind gives it movement
but really it is quite stable
through the trees

Among the Ashes

Found among the ashes, a very part of me...
thought long gone and left with the debris.
It was green and lovely, an apple given in love
now it is black and golden,
a piece of the divine

Can I wear this history
is it part of me now
or just a jaded memory
that should be kept in shroud?

I think that I will wear it
a merging of then and now
a black apple for the teacher
that's learning where and how.