Not Nearly Normal

I was once told that I was two standard deviations from the norm, though I didn't know what it meant at the time. Now I do.  In layman's terms, I am not normal.  Wrapping my mind around this idea has happened in stages.

A normal distribution of data means that most of the examples in a set of data are close to the "average," while relatively few examples tend to one extreme or the other.   Robert Niles

First, I'm left handed, that's not typical though it may still be normal-of a sort. Then, I was a three dimensional thinker, not normal, but better, in a specific way.  That means I can see the back of something in my ind's eye that I only see the front of...weird, but cool was how I labeled that.  After a while, and in a completely different mindset, I realized that I was not normal at all, as the eighth of fifteen children, I had a very unique view and experience with the world. Then, I realized that not one person in my family was normal, by virtue of our family construction and dynamics, we never were and we never would be.

As time passes, and my life took shape, I had many insights into this non-normal condition.  At times, I craved normalcy with a passionate hunger, though it remained elusive.  Other factors emerged, my life experiences, inside and outside of my family. My medical history, which has actually been included in medical books.  The more I sought normalcy, the more aware I became of my lack of it.

Trying to quantify and value myself, I searched for other words to describe myself, something with a more positive connotation...then, I took statistics and learned what two standard deviations  meant and I laughed, because it was spot on and I liked the sound of it...not a devieant, but two standard deviations...I'll take it.  I might even enjoy it, if it wasn't so freaking weird.