It's hard to believe it will be snowing inside of a month, but I know it will. Hard to believe because this autumn has been so beautiful, as was the summer before it. I've spent all of this time alone, or mostly alone. No trips, no visitors, just me...healing a little at a time and letting things lay down inside me. It was time that I needed, and peace.
It's hard to explain the value and virtue of solitude to someone from a large family. I doubt that I ever needed it as desperately as I needed it these past months. Time to cobble myself together, time to realize that my life is my choice and although my choices impact people, even people that I love, it is my choice to make. This hasn't been easy for me, I have always taken care of others, but even that is falling away. I am finally learning to take care of myself. I am a novice, but I am also a good student. I will learn. I will grow.
The winter is coming, I feel it in the evening breeze. I can smell it in the morning. Time to prepare, no hurry, but directly. I look forward to the winter. A good reason to withdraw into my cozy house and write, think, draw and paint, curl up with my animals and pet them as they burrow into the soft warm blankets. Winter is a good time to regroup. I think I will do just that, regroup. Make a new plan, prepare for the road ahead of me. This time is coming to an end, I don't know what's next, but I will enjoy now and let it unfold in the Spring. Engaging in beauty is such a tremendous blessing, this time of solitude, has also been a blessing. I look forward to not being quite so alone, but I have loved these days.
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