The Quest for Greatness

Perhaps it was the Opening Ceremonies that got me to thinking that everyone has a secret, or not so secret, desire for greatness.  Those who discover their particular brand of greatness early in their lives appear to have a decided advantage over the late bloomers.  Certainly we are more aware of them, but if you live long enough, you usually get to see them fall as well.  Some more gracefully than others.

As for the late bloomers, a group I include myself in, I wonder if they/we ever know our true greatness?  For most people, they unlike whoever it was that said each person gets fifteen minutes of fame, go about their lives without fireworks and standing ovations. 

Still, deep inside, I suspect there is a desire that bubbles up to the surface now and again.  I wonder about people that don't receive their accolades in their lifetimes.  Heroes known to their families, or the lady across the street.  People who do amazing things that just make the world a better place to live.

I'm thinking of a secretary I used to know.  She always managed to keep it together.  I was one of the few people who knew that she often came back to school after dinner and got things ready for the next day.  The only reason I knew is because that was when I went back myself. 

We made an agreement somewhere along the line to stop scaring the crap out of each other when we came in by singing or saying hello quite loudly.  This always amused the night custodian, who laughed easily and was happy for the company.  We seemed to develop another agreement, tacit for sure, that we didn't chat socially-we came to get work done, and we never mentioned that the other was there to anyone else. 

I sometimes think of her late in the evening and wonder...I wonder about a lot of people actually, including myself.  I wonder how things are getting along without us?  I wonder which of the seven million things I did actually changed someone else's life?  I wonder about my own life, and how it will play out over the next couple of decades?  I wonder about things that happened, and to be honest, I wonder about things that didn't happen a whole lot more.  I wonder about greatness and if this desire will be quenched by some event or fade like some teenage fantasies? 

Sitting here, at the computer provided by the love of a brother and his wife, I wonder about things that people do out of the kindness of their hearts.  I wonder if we ever really know the true greatness of people from different political parties, people from different social classes, people who work behind the scenes to make certain that everything is ready for tomorrow?  I hope they know their greatness, I hope they know that it is not the same without them.

I wonder if I could know that each and every person that I have ever or will ever meet in my life has a greatness?  I believe that the more I can be mindful of this simple fact, the better my own life will be.  I believe that the more each of us can be mindful of this, the better the world will be. 

Restless

I am in such a strange mood...I don't know the right word to describe it...not melancholy, or sad...a little restless and wanting to laugh, but not really having a reason to.  I suppose that it's got a name, I just don't know it...perhaps you do?

Fluffy Arrises From the Ashes

Quite recently, I realized that I really do prefer a drama free life, and to a certain extent I have achieved that.  Certainly, I have had my traumas but I am convinced that a trauma doesn't have to become a drama.  It's a working theory at this point, but I like it just the same.

Among other things, I have found parts of myself reemerging in small ways like, my love of power tools.  Sanding my picnic table with my Makita sander is therapeutic in some measurable way.  I don't make tremendous progress, but that doesn't really matter.  What matters is that I feel able.  I like that feeling so I'll probably be sanding some more.

My former husband taught me how to use a power sander, he wouldn't let me do it-but he showed me how.  It came in handy today as I prepare the redwood table to be reassembled after all this time.  I look forward to eating at it sometime in the next few weeks.  It's not a big job, but I don't have any reason to press myself in such hot weather.  It'll get done.

While I was sanding, and watching the beauty of the natural redwood reappear from beneath the weathered surface, I found myself rewriting my Fluffy book inside my head and I have decided that it is safe for me to approach that project that went up in smoke.  I guess I am over it, for all intensive purposes.   It feels good for that to be part of my past, and not part of my present.

I have decided that I really won't be maintaining this blog anymore...I can't say that I'll never post, it's just that while I was traveling it was important to me that people were able to find out what I was up to rather than worrying about what was going on with me.  Near as I can tell, I have one reader in the United States and the rest are in other parts of the world.  This is interesting in it's own right, but since I have no idea why people in Denmark and Russia want to read my blog while my family and friends do not, I don't really feel compelled to post on any sort of a regular basis, especially since no one posts any comments at all and I am getting busy with other things, finally.

It is good for me to have other things going on in my life.  I hope that you do too.  If you'd like to share them with me, please do.  I can be reached at goodhobbits@comcast.com.  I would really enjoy talking with you so don't be shy, even if it is an English lesson, after all, I am a teacher.  Once a teacher, always a teacher :D

The Most Relaxing Day, Ever

It was such a beautiful day, seventy-two degrees with such a slight breeze.  The birds were vocal and the porch was perfect.  I talked with a neighbor over the fence, ate watermelon and drank my tea.  It's not much to report, but I'll take it.

The World Ablaze

Laying low
keeping cool
as fires swept the landscape

my new city ablaze
smoke like familiar smog
unfamiliar to my new community

ten days later
perfect rain falls
and the fire comes under control

it burns still
consuming the trees
in between the fire lines

laying low
keeping cool
not much to do
but stay out of the way