I didn't get to sleep at all last night, I can tell that it's not because I'm worried because I ran out of things to think about. When I worry, I never run out of new scenarios to concern myself with. I could say it's from pain, but frankly, I'm kind of use to that so even though I exhausted my remedies I remained awake, though resting in bed - more or less comfortable, whatever. Anyway, I have a few pet ideas that I take out to think about when I can't sleep. These are questions that have no obvious answer or no correct answer.
For example: What is the perfect amount of money to win in the lottery? Research has shown that lottery winners to the majority, end up in the same proportional financial position they were in before they won. This means that if they carried a 35% debt load before they won, they will after-leaving them in a much more difficult position because they do not have the earning power associated with their winnings. The winners that did not end up in this position all had one thing in common. They all had a plan for their winnings including how they were going to handle the charities that besieged them after winning. This is the research that parented my question, and it was my favorite mental toy until this summer, when I actually solved it -for me.
Needless to say, I think my idea is brilliant and it should be because I've been thinking about it for almost twenty years. Don't fret,I won't make you wait that long for my answer, and it isn't 42 (just in case you're a Hitch hiker's Guide to the Galaxy folk). My answer is $142 million. Now to some of you that may seem quite high, to greedy folk it may seem quite modest. If you follow the lottery you know that it often exceeds this amount, it doesn't matter because I rarely buy a ticket, I just want to be prepared so I'm not one of those winners that ends up deeper in debt (I shudder at the thought).
My calculation goes like this: The day I win the lottery, I inform all those I know and love that I have won the lottery and being the generous person that I am, I want to pay off all of their debts, including the mortgage on their homes and autos, etc. The debts must all have preexisted my winning the lottery. I will also pay the taxes on the financial gift they are receiving so as of one month after the lottery, they all have their income to spend as they will and I will not bail anyone out beyond these funds. That's final by the way, if you know me, you know that I can hold a line and that is my line. The only exception to this rule are the people I know who are homeless, they just get a house, median priced in their community (yeah, I'll furnish it). As for the charities, I've already selected the ones that I support and that's the end of that.
As for myself, well I will be buying four houses, one in New York by my family, one in Santa Monica which is my happy place, one in Colorado where I feel good and one in an undisclosed location that I have always loved but don't want any intruders to my paradise.
For me, the next part is my absolute favorite, if you've ever seen the television show Highway to Heaven, where Michael Landon and another guy travel the country and solve one person's problems in each episode. That's my plan, though I don't expect to spend a half hour on each person. I'm thinking, a check up from the neck up for each, and a friend (being me) who is willing to help them do whatever they need to fix their life. It's such a cool idea, I don't mind if Michael Landon had the job first. I can deal with it.
Now that this issue has been resolved, I just need to win the lottery, which means that I have to start buying tickets...hmm. Oh well, it will happen if it will happen. In the meantime, I needed a new nearly unsolvable problem to occupy my mind while I'm not sleeping (and usually in pain). The new issue is just as individual in it's solution so I guess I'll share that idea with you in a future writing.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
It's Too Weird
One of the features of my blog is that it counts how many people visit my site and where they are when they do so. Tonight, I was feeling like I shouldn't bother writing one anymore since it is truly a one sided relationship which was okay while I was traveling, but since I am stationary, well, I'd like to hear from you too. Then I checked my stats:
1059 people visited my site this month. 30 from Germany, 28 from the Netherlands, and one blogger lists my blog as a good blog to visit. How weird is that? I just don't understand it, but then again, I might just as well as enjoy it. Finally, one guy who visits me 28 times a month(?) I don't post that often, but anyway, he has a get rich quick scheme that just cannot fail. You heard it here first...I guess I'll keep posting.
1059 people visited my site this month. 30 from Germany, 28 from the Netherlands, and one blogger lists my blog as a good blog to visit. How weird is that? I just don't understand it, but then again, I might just as well as enjoy it. Finally, one guy who visits me 28 times a month(?) I don't post that often, but anyway, he has a get rich quick scheme that just cannot fail. You heard it here first...I guess I'll keep posting.
A Light Dusting
The view is oh so gentle with a light dusting of snow upon it. I have been waiting for this for days. I don't know why, I just really wanted it to snow. It has really turned into winter now that the freezing temperatures persist in daylight. They are predicting that next Wednesday it will warm up a little, we shall see.
I have been somewhat reflective these past few days...I have been thinking about how much it has cost me to keep the word disabled out of my self-description...too much I think, now. It is the opposite of the power of positive thinking...when there is a cost to evading a negative truth. I don't know what to make of it really, and I'm not sure what the purpose is of me realizing it now, but true to my blog's name, I did realize it later and I've learned to pay attention to these understandings-even if I've already paid the price. So be it.
I had the Internet installed in the house, as expected. They had to wire the house from the pole since the former tenant had pirated off the neighbor...perhaps I should go introduce myself to this hospitable person? Hmm...an interesting thought.
I got baptised on Sunday, somewhat anti-climatic since God's been invited into every cell of my being for a very long time, still, I guess it was special in a very peaceful way. For me, I guess it was more a confirmation of my beliefs, perhaps that is just a Roman Catholic hangover....I can't support the distinctions religious people make about which flavor of Christian you are. For a long time now, it seems to me that God went through a lot of trouble making us all unique to insist that we be the same. I know, you don't want to hear about it, still, it makes me wonder.
I suppose that I should start preparing for the holidays, I don't think I will though. The decorations and ornaments (of which I have many) are all in the back of the shed since I expected to be unpacked by now...perhaps I'll aim for next Christmas? My time would probably be better spent finding an organization that helps people off the streets while the weather is life-threatening to them? More than likely, I will do what I have been doing, keeping warm, safe, and dry while I slowly unpack that box that is in my way. That's really why I wanted the snow, to force me to deal with the inside of my house, instead I got a light dusting...inside and out.
I have been somewhat reflective these past few days...I have been thinking about how much it has cost me to keep the word disabled out of my self-description...too much I think, now. It is the opposite of the power of positive thinking...when there is a cost to evading a negative truth. I don't know what to make of it really, and I'm not sure what the purpose is of me realizing it now, but true to my blog's name, I did realize it later and I've learned to pay attention to these understandings-even if I've already paid the price. So be it.
I had the Internet installed in the house, as expected. They had to wire the house from the pole since the former tenant had pirated off the neighbor...perhaps I should go introduce myself to this hospitable person? Hmm...an interesting thought.
I got baptised on Sunday, somewhat anti-climatic since God's been invited into every cell of my being for a very long time, still, I guess it was special in a very peaceful way. For me, I guess it was more a confirmation of my beliefs, perhaps that is just a Roman Catholic hangover....I can't support the distinctions religious people make about which flavor of Christian you are. For a long time now, it seems to me that God went through a lot of trouble making us all unique to insist that we be the same. I know, you don't want to hear about it, still, it makes me wonder.
I suppose that I should start preparing for the holidays, I don't think I will though. The decorations and ornaments (of which I have many) are all in the back of the shed since I expected to be unpacked by now...perhaps I'll aim for next Christmas? My time would probably be better spent finding an organization that helps people off the streets while the weather is life-threatening to them? More than likely, I will do what I have been doing, keeping warm, safe, and dry while I slowly unpack that box that is in my way. That's really why I wanted the snow, to force me to deal with the inside of my house, instead I got a light dusting...inside and out.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Coming Together
Okay, after a not so great Thanksgiving,all my fault-of course...well, not really, I guess I'll just explain. As previously stated, I had plans to join my neighbor and her four generations however, on Thanksgiving morning I discovered that Coco had the runs all over the carpet and the floor.
That dog will bark if the wind changes direction, but for this he is silent? I did not kill him or beat him, but threatened to do both as I kicked him out into the backyard. Ay yi yi. So of course I cleaned it up, and up. I did know better than to have my tea before I started.
Afterwards, I let him back in, fed the beast and proceeded to make my contributions to the meal. As easy as string bean casserole is to make, by the time it came out of the oven my foot was shot for the day. Ouch! Her son came over and picked up the casserole and after they ate, Bev delivered two heaping plates to me. I was so sore that I was nauseous and declined her company while I ate, because in fact, I ate two bites and went to bed.
Sadly, not only did I miss out on a great meal and good company, as well as the opportunity to make new friends (which I could really use) I also offended my friend. Not my usual style, but what are ya gonna do? So, today I went over and apologized profusely, and gave Coco the dead eye upon my return. We shall see if the friendship survives the last minute cancellation...
In the meantime, through the generosity of family and friends, I now have a laptop-YEAH, and the Internet will be hooked up on Dec.2 another YEAH. So, as it goes, I am creeping back towards the 21st Century.
I sure hope your holiday was better than mine, even if I do have pretty great left overs.
That dog will bark if the wind changes direction, but for this he is silent? I did not kill him or beat him, but threatened to do both as I kicked him out into the backyard. Ay yi yi. So of course I cleaned it up, and up. I did know better than to have my tea before I started.
Afterwards, I let him back in, fed the beast and proceeded to make my contributions to the meal. As easy as string bean casserole is to make, by the time it came out of the oven my foot was shot for the day. Ouch! Her son came over and picked up the casserole and after they ate, Bev delivered two heaping plates to me. I was so sore that I was nauseous and declined her company while I ate, because in fact, I ate two bites and went to bed.
Sadly, not only did I miss out on a great meal and good company, as well as the opportunity to make new friends (which I could really use) I also offended my friend. Not my usual style, but what are ya gonna do? So, today I went over and apologized profusely, and gave Coco the dead eye upon my return. We shall see if the friendship survives the last minute cancellation...
In the meantime, through the generosity of family and friends, I now have a laptop-YEAH, and the Internet will be hooked up on Dec.2 another YEAH. So, as it goes, I am creeping back towards the 21st Century.
I sure hope your holiday was better than mine, even if I do have pretty great left overs.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The First Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is my favorite day of the year. This year is the first time I will spend Thanksgiving without my friends or family about. Certainly it is easy to feel sorry for myself but truth be told, I am fine. After all the trials and tribulations about getting myself settled here, I have a lot to be thankful for.
So many people have been kind and generous to me following the fire, and from time to time some treasure shows up in my mailbox that makes my life just that much better. I am looking forward to replacing this and that, but in the meantime, I have been unpacking things that I haven't seen in a couple of years, all of which I liked to begin with, so in a sense everyday is just a little like Christmas. Although I may have to consciously decide to have this attitude, it is the one I prefer.
Shortly after moving here, I decided that the best way I could meet people is by joining a church (since I don't work or attend a school). I selected the church that is closest to my house, and since it has a 6:00 service on Sunday afternoons, I figured that would work for me. After attending for more than a month, the pastor told me that, "We should have a conversation." I was not looking forward to this. I have very definite beliefs about God, and as you probably know, I was never a church goer-even as a child. I had gotten in trouble for asking the wrong questions during religious instruction so I learned to keep my opinions to myself, and left the church as soon as I could, so you can imagine my reluctance to have a one on one with this pastor.
Anyway, the meeting was set up and I went, intending to say as little as possible and "yeah, yeah" whenever necessary. When I arrived, I was handed a booklet that describes what the church believes and what is required of members. You can imagine my surprise when I read exactly what I believed on their forms! It's true, there is a church that believes what I believe, and God has lined me up with it. So, much to my own surprise, I am being baptized on Sunday-which will make me a member of this church. Does that make me the church lady? We'll have to ask Dana Carvey to know for sure.
So, this Thanksgiving I have one more thing to be thankful for. I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I will be joining my neighbor across the street for dinner and feel just a little like a Pilgrim being welcomed by the natives. Enjoy and I hope to speak with you soon!
So many people have been kind and generous to me following the fire, and from time to time some treasure shows up in my mailbox that makes my life just that much better. I am looking forward to replacing this and that, but in the meantime, I have been unpacking things that I haven't seen in a couple of years, all of which I liked to begin with, so in a sense everyday is just a little like Christmas. Although I may have to consciously decide to have this attitude, it is the one I prefer.
Shortly after moving here, I decided that the best way I could meet people is by joining a church (since I don't work or attend a school). I selected the church that is closest to my house, and since it has a 6:00 service on Sunday afternoons, I figured that would work for me. After attending for more than a month, the pastor told me that, "We should have a conversation." I was not looking forward to this. I have very definite beliefs about God, and as you probably know, I was never a church goer-even as a child. I had gotten in trouble for asking the wrong questions during religious instruction so I learned to keep my opinions to myself, and left the church as soon as I could, so you can imagine my reluctance to have a one on one with this pastor.
Anyway, the meeting was set up and I went, intending to say as little as possible and "yeah, yeah" whenever necessary. When I arrived, I was handed a booklet that describes what the church believes and what is required of members. You can imagine my surprise when I read exactly what I believed on their forms! It's true, there is a church that believes what I believe, and God has lined me up with it. So, much to my own surprise, I am being baptized on Sunday-which will make me a member of this church. Does that make me the church lady? We'll have to ask Dana Carvey to know for sure.
So, this Thanksgiving I have one more thing to be thankful for. I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I will be joining my neighbor across the street for dinner and feel just a little like a Pilgrim being welcomed by the natives. Enjoy and I hope to speak with you soon!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Reign Of Leaves
Mightier than a gentle breeze
Gentler than a mighty wind
The leaves rained down
Covering every surface in a layer of muted colors and me
I pause to note that perhaps there is one leaf upon me for each goodbye I have said this year
And I brush them away lightly
The sun is warm and the chimes sing a simple song
I am receptive to its unformed melody
How to capture this gentle wildness?
Perhaps not
Perhaps it is as fleeting as the leaves that lingered awhile
Their shade is gone
Now they blanket the Earth
I shall not remove them
Gentler than a mighty wind
The leaves rained down
Covering every surface in a layer of muted colors and me
I pause to note that perhaps there is one leaf upon me for each goodbye I have said this year
And I brush them away lightly
The sun is warm and the chimes sing a simple song
I am receptive to its unformed melody
How to capture this gentle wildness?
Perhaps not
Perhaps it is as fleeting as the leaves that lingered awhile
Their shade is gone
Now they blanket the Earth
I shall not remove them
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