Safe at Home

I am safe here, in my comfortable home. This home that blesses me even as it surprises me, for I really had no idea where I would end up and what my life would become. It has taken years for me to get to this place and back to a mindset where I could write, must write, all that has happened and what has become of me.
Perhaps it is easier to start at the beginning for you to follow my story logically, but in truth I must start from where I am and understand it myself-even as I explain it to you.  I am home. In my first home, in a manner of speaking-though I don't own it and I have rented many houses before but this, this one is different. From the beginning it was mine alone, completely and without a doubt. The decor, the mess, the labor of love that brought it into its current state.
I am safe. I am home. I have all I need. These are the things that I tell myself even as the world is in a state of unprecedented terror. A pandemic that no one really has completely wrapped their mind around. No one knows how this will all play out, but I am home and safe and very, very alone
Today the governor of Colorado had ordered everyone home....it's a frightening idea but in truth I stopped going out weeks ago. Forget social distancing, I chose isolation because I don't need any more illness and I dismiss the insanity that seemed to take over otherwise regular folks here in Colorado and across the nation, perhaps around the world-but I don't have reliable information about that so I won't speak of it here. I have enough of my own experience to fill my head in swirls and tangles. Waves of fear, anger, sadness, and grace hit me in turn. To return to myself, I remind me of who I am, where I am, and what is happening right here, right now. My world as I experience it. Not what the news says, not what the political parties or the fear mongers say, what I know to be true. I have a safe place to live. My refrigerator is full. My lawn is beginning to green. My bills are paid, for now, and I am no more or less broke than the last week of any month in recent memory.
I do not have a stockpile of anything, I bought what I always buy, a month's worth at the beginning of the month and it should last me because it always does. I am calmer now. These simple pieces of reality bring me back to myself. I am home, I am safe, and as far as I know, my family and friends are also safe and well. To be able to say that as the fear flies is a testament to true wealth, so I am also a wealthy woman. Ha! That certainly was not my impression as I began this post, but I choose this reality-for it is real.
It is always true that we choose our reality. None of us can absorb all of the facts that comprise any particular day or situation. We choose which ones to keep, which ones we share, and which ones we hide. I am convinced that we all do all of that, at the very least. How else could we process our days much less our lives? So, in this moment I choose to remind myself that I have all that I need for this moment and I draw comfort from knowing that when I wake up, I will drink my tea, let my animals out into the yard, and begin another day of choice. I will not trouble myself with what I do not have, nor the people I am missing so desperately, nor will I distress myself about things that are out of my control. I will start anew. I will clean and disinfect and I will finish arranging my back porch. I am expecting to spend a lot of time out there this Spring.
I hope that you, also, can comfort yourself with the realities of your life. Your riches that are so easily overlooked or taken for granted in these turbulent times. Choose to be at ease in your home. Choose to recognize how many of your needs are already met. Choose to tune out the distress, at least for a space large enough to catch your breath. Be well, stay well. Be safe, at home.

Keep Going

I have just finished reading this blog from the very first entry in 2010.  There were more than a few things I'd written about that I had no recollection of, and I was amused.  I realized that writing this blog, not the other four, did something for me, something that was valuable to me.

Just the title causes me to look for new understandings in my life, the entries cause me to put them in an understandable way, and these entries are a way for me to see my own progress, so I am posting again.  If my fans are I. Denmark, so be it.  Whether I know them or never meet them, I won't concern myself.

I haven't decided which night I will commit to yet, Thursday seems good - since today is a Thursday. I'll let you know when I nail it down.  If you are a follower, welcome back! I look forward to reconnecting with you soon.

Beyond Killing My Television

It was during Nixon's infamous "I am not a crook" speech that I first carried my heavy and cumbersome television towards the dumpster. Resting it on the porch railing as I contemplated whether or not I could make the shot from where I stood , my neighbor asked me what I was doing and happily took it off my hands.  It was some years before I had another.

About two years ago I finally relented and hooked up cable. I strongly object to paying to watch other people's idea of amusement but, I didn't really know anyone in Colorado Springs yet, couldn't really get out on my sore foot and found myself having read every book in the house.  Besides, I was so disconnected from the rest of my previous life that I was more than a little adrift.  Not having watched much television for a very long time (dare I say decades?)  even the old series were new to me.

I rather enjoyed NCIS, Burn Notice and Orphan Black, among others.  I discovered On Demand and developed a binge watching habit long before I knew the expression.  Now it seems that I have exhausted the reservoir of unwatched series and am left with either re-watching the same episodes or...or...or...rereading the same books.

Over the last couple of years I have become aware of Red Carpet Season.  This freaks me out, a lot.  It blows my mind that these extremely well paid performers get awards and honors as well as valuable gift bags in addition to their tremendous incomes. Why? I really don't get it.  It is a mystery to me why we would support or encourage such behavior, much less watch it for hours on end, complete with pre-shows and post shows.  It staggers my mind.

I have nothing against performers, in general. It's okay with me that they are well paid.  It's not so okay with me that other producer grossly underpaid.  Nurse's aides, for example- I know nurses, too but but a full time job emptying bedpans pays a quarter over minimum wage?
My mother was in a nursing home for years before she passed and spent more time with these folks than any of her many loved ones. They dressed her, fed her, bathed her, listened to her fears and complaints among other tasks. These people deserve awards and cold hard cash.

It isn't the only occupation that falls below our radar.  Some fields are quick to come to mind for being underpaid, whether or not they are appreciated like nurses and teachers-but some we don't even think about.  Okay, so I don't ever think about road workers or street light repairers. I recently learned that there are a half-million possible occupations.  A half MILLION? But, we're going to give three different awards to the actor that made a million dollars to begin with? There's no mystery to me why a night at the movies costs so much. It just might be time for me to get rid of my television again.

Not Nearly Normal

I was once told that I was two standard deviations from the norm, though I didn't know what it meant at the time. Now I do.  In layman's terms, I am not normal.  Wrapping my mind around this idea has happened in stages.

A normal distribution of data means that most of the examples in a set of data are close to the "average," while relatively few examples tend to one extreme or the other.   Robert Niles

First, I'm left handed, that's not typical though it may still be normal-of a sort. Then, I was a three dimensional thinker, not normal, but better, in a specific way.  That means I can see the back of something in my ind's eye that I only see the front of...weird, but cool was how I labeled that.  After a while, and in a completely different mindset, I realized that I was not normal at all, as the eighth of fifteen children, I had a very unique view and experience with the world. Then, I realized that not one person in my family was normal, by virtue of our family construction and dynamics, we never were and we never would be.

As time passes, and my life took shape, I had many insights into this non-normal condition.  At times, I craved normalcy with a passionate hunger, though it remained elusive.  Other factors emerged, my life experiences, inside and outside of my family. My medical history, which has actually been included in medical books.  The more I sought normalcy, the more aware I became of my lack of it.

Trying to quantify and value myself, I searched for other words to describe myself, something with a more positive connotation...then, I took statistics and learned what two standard deviations  meant and I laughed, because it was spot on and I liked the sound of it...not a devieant, but two standard deviations...I'll take it.  I might even enjoy it, if it wasn't so freaking weird.

More Than Different

It has taken me a very long time to accept that some of the people I love are so very differnt than I am.  Still, I suppose we have it easy. If this was the Civil War we'd be in opposing armies, pointing weapons at each other. As it is these days, we are in different political parties, we enjoy different things.

It could honestly be said that we don't like each other very much, if at all.  That was the insight for me, loving people that I don't like.  It gets me thinking though...what do I really know about them? What do they know about me?

Real love continues over time and distance, but we change.  We become what we wanted to be, or not.  We find God in a meaningful way, we lose our simple definitions about who we are and what the purpose of life is. Our bodies impact our activities, we stop drinking or we still party like teenagers, these things change us in definable ways.
How do we know we still love them in view of all this overwhelming and sometimes argumentative circumstances?  Well, I'd still give them a kidney, lend them money and that's more love than some people have for their current spouses.

If I Had Only Known

So many of my early decisions were made by default.  Unable to get enough perspective, and always so desperate,  I lived my life like a pinball, just trying not to go down the tube.  I did have goals and dreams, but living them-well, that I didn't do so well.  Still, I lived an absolutely amazing life!

 The people I met, stars and presidents, musicians, and all kinds of hard working folks who called me a friend.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have kept in touch with very many of these people, who brought my life such richness. Know I still love you, even if it takes a minute for me to recall your name...sometimes it takes me a minute to recall my own :)

If I had only known, I would have stopped holding myself back.  That will surprise the people who thought I already was quite out there-at times, I was, I certainly was. What I mean, is doubting myself, my value, my worth and what I had to contribute. Maybe, that's wisdom talking? I realized it later, but it is the point of everything.

On the Verge of Winter

It's hard to believe it will be snowing inside of a month, but I know it will.  Hard to believe because this autumn has been so beautiful, as was the summer before it.  I've spent all of this time alone, or mostly alone. No trips, no visitors, just me...healing a little at a time and letting things lay down inside me.  It was time that I needed, and peace.

It's hard to explain the value and virtue of solitude to someone from a large family.  I doubt that I ever needed it as desperately as I needed it these past months. Time to cobble myself together, time to realize that my life is my choice and although my choices impact people, even people that I love, it is my choice to make.  This hasn't been easy for me, I have always taken care of others, but even that is falling away. I am finally learning to take care of myself. I am a novice, but I am also a good student. I will learn. I will grow.

Beginning a New Chapter

It's been a while, to be sure.  I needed the break, mostly to process all the changes that came so swiftly in the past couple of years that I just stacked them, one upon another, to inspect later.  It's best not to let your life gang up on you, I guess I made it under the wire.

I haven't quite decided whether to fill in the blanks or just carry on...for simplicity sake, I'll fill in as I go. For today, I'm just happy I could remember my password.

Cardboard

This year I committed myself to emptying the shed when I got out the Christmas decorations so that I could finally be done with the move and all the sorting and unpacking.  When the time came, I kept my promise to myself and hired a guy to help me with all of the grunt work.  We got the boxes sorted, stacked and returned them to the shed in a much more manageable manner.  In the process, there were a dozen boxes or so that seriously needed replacement.

I pulled these boxes to the side and began collecting replacement boxes.  Over the holidays I have accumulated a variety of boxes which now occupy the area between the dining area and the living room, which is to say that I have a cardboard centerpiece to my home-not exactly the look I was going for.  So, once again, I am surrounded by cardboard.

Today I started repacking the torn up boxes and putting the Christmas decorations away.  You never can tell, I may be done by February.

Sliding Into Home

This title takes on a whole new meaning when you are not talking baseball.  Here in Colorado, and at my house inparticular, it means that turning into my street slides me right into my driveway.  If it was part of a comedy, it would be really funny and perhaps even kind of cool but following the Uhaul meets Fence experience, it's a little frightening.  I keep meaning of taking a photo of the corner for you, but once I get inside the house, well, something else happens like being greeted by an excited little dog.

Kanga and Fluffy have begun playing a game that I like to call "She's Mine" which is to say that they compete for my attention and my lap.  Once, they both sat on my lap at the same time but I think that was just them both standing their ground.  As for me, I don't enjoy the game very much at all.  I figure it will work itself out by Spring, or I will not have any animals on my lap-at all.

In the meantime, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year!

New and Exciting

This blog is now linked to my tumblr page, MissyMarian.tumblr.com.  What could be more exciting?  Well, I'll tell you...I started a new blog, since this one has fulfilled its orginal purpose...staying in contact with family and friends as I traveled across the country. 

My new blog is Turtling With Fluffy at turtlingacrossamerica.tumblr.com (I think).  I'm not really certain what its purpose is, but I'm excited just the same. 

What Was That?

It's really late and I should be sleeping but there's just too much to process so I'll catch you all up...last Friday, I picked up my young friend, practically a niece, from the Denver airport.  If you have never been to that airport, it is really spread out.  To get to the terminal you take two escalators, one tram, and three moving sidewalks, the rest of it you just walk under your own power.

After a minor setback, we headed home and it was easy for both of us to fall right to sleep.  Early the next morning, a loud bang woke me up.  I first thought she had fallen out of bed.  I went into her room and observed her sleeping then went back to bed myself.  Thinking that my next door neighbor must have dumped something large in the gigantic trash bin that they have hired for this purpose, I fell right to sleep only to hear my doorbell ring and pounding on my window.

I popped back up and opened the door only to discover my neighbor pointing out that a moving van had crashed through the power/telephone pole, my side fence, missed the car, the biggest tree, and the house, went through the back fence while taking down a small tree then came to a dead stop in my backyard.

 

So, naturally, I grabbed my bathrobe (bright red) and my camera and proceeded to photograph the wreckage while talking to the shocked gentleman who had unfortunately hit the gas instead of the brake, and did not know what to do with himself. 

Of course, all the neighbors came out, since they heard the crash and lost their power and land lines.  I was very happy that my pajamas, robe and slippers were color coordinated and presentable but I must have been quite the sight shooting photos from every angle.

Hearing sirens, I went in the house and got dressed, moved the car out of the driveway so that I would have access to it and witnessed a swarm of fire trucks, utility vehicles and police descend on the scene. First they propped up the pole with a shorter pole and then they used a crane and a cherry picker to hoist the old pole out and put the new pole in, reconnect the wires and such, and left.  They handled everything so efficiently that I feel compelled to write a thank you. 

 

Now, I am missing two fences.  A quick trip to Home Depot for a roll of plastic fencing and my trusty staple gun encloses the backyard for Kanga.  I used the broken fencing to disguise the green plastic, but it is still rather unsightly.  It's easy to say that it's been a busy week, especially since that was just one day of it.

Smoked Turkey

So, Thanksgiving has come and gone and I was only a week behind.  Which is to say that I cooked my turkey exactly one week late.  I wasn't really that far behind schedule-although I am perfectly capable of it, it's just that I hemmed and hawed so long about whether or not I was going to cook one that by the time I got around to buying one there were only huge birds left, so I waited for company.

Ricky and Joseph blew into town and while they raked my leaves and straightened up this and that, I cooked the 17 pound turkey for us.  Of course, I have my turkey roasting pan so well stashed that I could not find it...so, I used the lasagna pan-which isn't deep enough...resulting in drippings in the oven that set off two smoked detectors.  It's not your typical dinner music, but it wasn't a typical dinner so I guess you could say it was on theme and it was in stereo.

It's really just another day, but Happy Thanksgiving.  Come on bye if you'd like some smoked turkey.

Looking for Clarity

It's become quite unclear to me, and it is in no doubt that I need new glasses.  I actually don't mind wearing glasses, it buying them that I find a very specific type of torture.
The selection of frames is practically endless, and I know that whatever I choose is going to look weird just because I'm not used to them  After comparing three or four pair, I feel truly ridiculous. 

At this point the sales girl appears.  "Did you find something you like?"

"Not really,"  I admit, "I'm looking for a good suggestion."  She picks up the abandoned frames from the counter and begins to put them back.

"None of this suit your face, or your color.  Why don't you  come with me."  She turns the corner and there are five hundred more pairs of glasses.  My mind goes instantly into overload....you could say that I don't like shopping for them at all.  She looks at me like I am being dramatic just because my hands flew over my eyes.  Some people are so judgemental.

"I think you'll find something that suits you over here."  She flourishes to her left and there are three walls of frames in a sort of office cubicle.  The woman in the glasses ads looks a lot like me.  Hmm, there could be something to this.  I have been in the glasses place now for twenty five minutes and I am still somewhat short of the target here.

Need I go on?  Is it obvious to you yet that I need guidance here?   I mean glasses say a lot about a person, what do I want my glasses to say about me?  What can I say?  "I need a nap."  I say to the sales girl as I pull myself to my feet and begin assembling myself for departure.

"Just try this one pair."  She hands me glasses, I put them on, I buy them because I just want to get out of the freaking store and I did come here to get new glasses.  It's how I got my last three pair, can't say I'm crazy about it...you could say that I don't like it at all.

The First Chill Of Winter

It was sunny this morning, but that didn't lift the chill from the air.  Kanga, the newest addition to my little family, looked at me with that expression of betrayal-believing as all little ones do, that the adult controls the weather.  That is little better than believing that the weather person controls the weather...a personal pet peeve.

This week saw the re-election of the American President, and a sigh of relief was heard throughout the country as political ads left the airways.  There was little sigh of relieve at the president's re-election since his non-supporters believe him to be 1) the anti-Christ 2) a secret Muslim controlling the demise of our beloved country, or 3) not capable of breaking the gridlock in the current Congress (which includes both the House of Representatives and the Senate).  This is the aspect of Mr. Obama's administration that was most tempting for me to cross parties this election had the opposing candidate  not been 1) a mercenary capitalist 2) a detail free planner and 3) seemingly unable to understand what the American populace has been through and what remedies need to be in place for us to thrive again.

I am somewhat of a simpleton when it comes to politics, for I truly believe that once the election is over, and the winner declared-it is time to rally behind the winner for the good of the country.  This concept use to be known as patriotism.  Now, I am not sure what is meant by that word currently in our culture, for I remain convinced (against current experience) that we will come together as a nation to solve the problems facing us today.

The only way that this can NOT happen is if Americans allow it.  It is infuriating to me that so many people accepted the Republican strategy of "Just say no" and their conviction that if they tied up our government in knots it would guarantee that Mr. Obama would not be re-elected.  Secretly, I think this is why many people stayed home, the couldn't bring themselves to vote for him but they couldn't support governance by blackmail either.  So, things remain largely as they were-except for one little thing.  President Obama doesn't have to be re-elected again, ever and is actually free to hold their feet to the fire, wrangle them into submission or start the political arm twisting that brings about cooperation.  Who knows what he might do now that he has been told quite clearly that we want what he promised us and gridlock is not acceptable?

I will end my rant there because my hands are cold and I doubt that anyone is still reading anyway.  Besides, I need to take the little dog out and she is not aware of the drastic temperature change she is about to experience before I can sleep with the confidence that I won't wake up by a puddle or other unwelcome deposits.

Untethered With Too Many Cookies

I apologize for my absence, and I hope you weren't worried or bored but much of the past couple of weeks were no fun at all so...I took a pass but more recently, some things worth commenting on have occurred...

To start with, Colorado has early elections so I voted and feel quite free to stop paying attention to the final mud sling that accompanies these last few weeks of the electoral cycle.  Big sigh of relief.

Of much more import, my dear friend, Jack Warford, turned eighty and I was fortunate enough to attend the celebration.  They now live in Santa Fe which is a straight drive down Interstate 25 from here.  I took the risk with my 1997 Ford Areostar van even though I have given up my cell phone -untethered in a certain way -and successfully arrived on Friday just passed dinner time.  The van sounded like a squeaky wheel and since I actually know an honest mechanic there I scheduled it for a a look see and carried on.

Jack's party was all that it should have been and a good time was had by all.  I only knew a couple of people there so I resorted to taking pictures and making party talk about looking for a dog.  In Colorado Springs a rescued dog costs $350...a bit more than a little out of my league and morally objectionable as well.  In New Mexico, throwing dogs out your car window seems to be a local pastime, so they are a little more realistic about allowing adoptions for $125, much more my speed so, I figured I'd make it a twofer.

One thing led to another and by Wednesday Susie, Jack and I kept an appointment at the Heart and Soul Sanctuary (a tax deductible not-for-profit, by the way) while the van kept its appointment at the mechanic.  This woman, Natalie, bought something like 300 acres (for those of you unfamiliar with acreage, that would be HUGE), fenced it off and takes all comers.  She has like forty dogs, sixty cats, horses, llamas, goats, and every small animal you can imagine.  For all of the animals at her sanctuary, there is NO smell - seriously, none.  No horse smell, no dog smell, none. As the owner of one cat and one dog for the past ten years or so (except since Coco has passed, that is) I have been challenged to be so successful. 

The original house, which I think she lives in, was not carpeted in the usual wall to wall.  Cotton bath mats, practically a hundred of them were laid just overlapping as far as my eye could see.  This allows them to pick up any soiled piece and replace it with a clean one.  Ingenious, really!  Dog bowls, huge ones, were placed strategically up the walkway to the building and throughout the house, all of them more or less full of wet food, side by side with dry.  The dogs, all smaller than mid-size, were free to roam throughout the house and the grounds.  I understand that the large dogs as well as the cats were in separate buildings with accompanying yard, but since I was looking for a smaller dog and my feet don't volunteer for extraneous walking, I parked myself on the floor of the main room and let a dog choose me.

The first dog to catch my eye was her personal dog, so I guess you could say that I have pretty good instincts.  A white mid-sized female, probably four or five years old kept coming back to me with a spring in her step, so just as I was making a commitment of the heart, Natalie said, "That's not a good match for you."  I looked at her questionably, I prefer an animal to choose me rather than the reverse.  "That dog's been adopted twice and came back both times.  She's really energetic and that's not a good match for you." She added looking at my feet.

"Okay," I said to her, and "sorry, sweetheart." I said to the dog.

"Look at this one, Marian."  Susie says handing me a cute little puppy.  This violates two of my dog adoption rules.  1) It was a puppy, not a dog and 2)  she picked it, it didn't pick me and I didn't pick it either...so even though it was cute as a button, I continued to interact with the changing field of dogs milling about.

"That is a good match for you." says Natalie.  This is a six week old pup, cute as a button- which you can see for yourself, from my photo.  To make a long story short, even though I went to find a dog, a 2 pound puppy is what I got.  I named her Kanga, straight from my favorite children's book, Winnie the Pooh- both because she hops about and because she likes to sleep inside my jacket like a joey.

I had to stop a Trader Joe's, a store that I miss oh, so much and somehow ended up with about a dozen different packages of cookies.  Evidently, that is what I really missed, though I wouldn't have said so.  Okay, so I got a lot of other food as well but I am really shocked at the amount of cookies that followed me home.  So, I survived my first cell free trip even if my wallet is a whole lot lighter from the dog/puppy, cookies and vehicle repairs, but hey, it's only money right?  As for the election, I'll be watching from the comfort of my sofa, petting a puppy and eating some cookies.  {Go VOTE ya'll}

Among Other Things

One thing about the fall, and more so in the winter is that the nights get so long.  I can't say that I mind, truth be told, I like the night.  Here in Colorado Springs, which is just north of the tallest peak of the American Rocky Mountains, we are easily affected by the air masses that move across the continent from practically any direction.  This means that our weather is very flexible, cold one day, hot the next but it's usually sunny.  I like this too. 

This past week has seen freezing to comfortably warm.  The cool nights are cozy, even though I overlooked the absence of a fireplace.  One night this week I looked on ebay for a portable fireplace, can't say I found one but it's something I'll keep my eyes open for.

I started a finance class a couple of weeks ago, one night a week for not quite two hours.  Most of what has been presented, which is reassuring since I've been investigating this area of my life for a few years.  Since my financial education is largely experiential, which is less than desirable, I started to reading in this area some number of years ago beginning with either Rich Dad, Poor Dad or The Millionaire Mind.  I have read over a dozen financial books, not the get-rich-quick type thing, more the how to do it right. 

This class is a good consolidation of everything I've cobbled together over the years.  It is my hope that at some point this class will identify the piece that will allow me to live my life further away from the edge of disaster. 

Talking about finances is very taboo, but I think that is part of the problem.  I think that if we talked about wise ways to use money and money competency we might have a chance of developing a better understanding of how to be better steward of all the resources available to us.

In the meantime, as I have made some new friends, some of my other friends have moved away.  The irony of this does not escape me especially since they moved to California-more people to visit on my next trip there.

Calm Excitement

These last few weeks have been the most peaceful of my life, not that they have been problem free-but amidst the difficulties, peace.   As strange as it may sound, I believe this to be the result of people praying for me. 

One of the highlights of the week is related to this blog.  As you probably remember, I was involved in a vehicle fire over a year ago and one of the casualties was all of the pictures from my travels and adventures (I prefer this explanation for the last couple years of my life) anyway, as it turns out the pictures I posted on this blog I was able to retrieve.  There weren't many of them, but they are most welcome.  Considering that I thought all of them lost, twenty is quite a find.

In the meantime, my van-affectionately called the Turtle, is limping along and in dire need of multiple repairs or replacement.  The Turtle did not consult with me or my budget, so I am now grounded.  It could be worse, my home is comfy and I have what I need, I just can't get very far.

As the back porch receives its finishing touches and the front porch awaits its first, things continue to move along at a snail's pace.  It's all good, since I really can't go anywhere anyway and besides, it's finally raining and what could be better than being warm, safe and dry?  Perhaps someone to keep me company...

Baking In The Fall

The heater turned on for the first time yesterday, and although a warm weekend is predicted, the autumn has arrived.  My tomato plant has one small fruit and I wonder if it will ripen before it frosts?

The summer here in Colorado Springs has been quite pleasant and I freely admit that I did not miss the scorching summers of California.  We had some very hot days, but the house stayed cool with the doors and windows closed and the evenings always cooled off comfortably.  I really enjoyed sitting on the back porch looking at the stars before going to bed.

The fall seems to require baking, and I have a batch of brownies cooling on the stove top.  I probably shouldn't indulge this habit unless I'm having guests but there is something about baking that is just right.  Perhaps you should come over for a cuppa and a brownie?